Preschool!

Vi starts pre-school next week! She is so excited, she keeps telling everyone. The classrooms all have animal names - right now, she's an Inchworm, and her preschool classroom is the Hoppy Frogs. She says, "I be a hoppy frog!!!" When she visited the classroom a couple of weeks ago, she walked in, threw her hands in the air and said, "I'm a hoppy frog!" (Her inchworm teacher almost cried. Oh, the tongue-in-cheek glare we got from her today when we told her Vi officially starts next week!)

I had a tour of the new classroom this morning, and saw their "Circle Time." The teachers are so great - they really work letters and counting into everything. They have mastered the art of combining play and learning - perfect for this age group. When wrapping up the tour with the director, I got weepy telling her how pleased we are with her teachers and facility. We talked about how happy and loving her employees are, how dedicated they are, and how Dan and I both feel so blessed to have a child care situation that is so closely aligned with our own values. She then got weepy, too, and said how sad she feels that not all children have this sort of a child care situation. And, how the world would be a better place if that weren't the case, and we paid more attention, gave more love, and showed our "little ones" how to be respectful, kind and loving.

*Sigh.*

I love our daycare.

Stop the madness.

Last night I had to show Vi that she had gotten her stubborn streak genetically. From me. And that I had been honing mine for 32 1/2 years.

Vi woke up at 11:30, crying and screaming for me. Dan kindly got up and went into her room, which is literally next to ours. She almost fell back asleep, but woke up in a rage when he got up to leave the room. After 20 minutes of trying, he came and got me.

I tried for the next 2 1/2 hours.

That's right. From 11:48 pm to 2:38 am...okay, that's almost 3 hours...I tried to get Vi to go to sleep.

I started with my usual "I'm too tired to change these habits tonight" technique of laying down with her and snuggling until she was out. As with Dan, when I got up she was NOT happy.

Next, I sat on her bed for a while, holding her hand while she drifted off again. When I stood up to leave, she cranked up the volume again.

I decided then to see if she would "just do it" on her own tonight. I told her, "Vi, I'm not going to sleep in your bed. I'm tired, and I want to sleep in MY bed. You sleep in YOUR bed. Good night."

She started using every trick in the book, every tool in her bag, every word she could use to get her way - sleeping with me, either in The Big Bed as she calls it, or in her Big Girl Bed. Either way, she would be a neck-poking, nose-pinching, elbow-digging bed hog, and I would wake up un-rested with a neck ache. From too much "snuggling."

Lines she tried on me:

• I need a drink of water
• I want some hot milk
• I don't want that blanket
• I need a blanket
• I need a bubba
• I want a different bubba
• I don't want a bubba, I want a Pac-i-fi-er.
• I DON'T WANT THAT BUBBA.

It was becoming clear that the "needs" she expresses every night are just tools to get us to give in and lay down with her or bring her to our bed. She was manipulating us - not in a malicious way, but basically trying to elicit a certain response from her test subjects. And we always gave in, until last night. Well, we equals me at midnight. Dan was already snoring away in The Big Bed, and I made an executive decision to stand my ground and enforce a new policy.

The talking and crying continued:

• I don't want to go to sleep
• I want to get in the big bed
• Mommy? Wanna come back in my room? Wanna lay down, with meeee? (sweet, sweet, sweetly spoken.)

I almost gave in. Her words! She was speaking so clearly, being polite, inviting, and sweet. How sweet! She just wants to snuggle. What's the harm? If I won't snuggle with her now, years from now I'll regret it, I started to tell myself. I may have been thinking out loud at this point - who knows. Unfortunately, this all happened on a Tuesday night (into Wednesday morning, for you sticklers) so Adam and Dylan were upstairs sleeping in our guest room. Dylan wasn't disturbed, but poor Adam was kept awake by the Sleep Summit of 2009.

I realized, though, that I had to stick to my guns. I had been strong in the new policy for over 45 minutes. (Well, just at 45 minutes I went into the bedroom and told Dan I was going to, and this is a direct quote, "chuck her out the fucking window." When he started snoring again instead of talking, I decided to kill him in his sleep after I got a drink of water.)

So, back to me being strong and awesome. I knew that there was no turning back at this point. If I gave in after such a long fight, then the next time I tried would be even worse. She couldn't win this one, or else I would really pay for it. I could out-stubborn a mule.

I stood in her doorway, speaking softly, telling her "Good night. It's nighttime, it's time for sleeping. Lay down and go to sleep." She would reply, "No." Just that - a firm, sour "No." In between requests like:

• I wanna hug your neck
• I want to take off my jammies
• I need a new diaper (she didn't)

she would cry and scream at a ridiculous level. In these moments, I was glad to have company - I reminded her that there were people sleeping, and to use her quiet voice so she wouldn't wake up Dylan.

I stepped outside her room, and leaned on the hallway wall. More claims:

• I pooped (she hadn't)
• Ow, Ow, OW!
• Mommy? Lay down, mommy. Lay down with meeee. (again resorting to nearly irresistible sweetness.)

I stepped further down the hall, and stood in my bedroom doorway. I got a pillow and sat on the floor. She asked me "Where are you, Mommy? What you doing, Mommy?" several times. The final half hour or so was the most painful. She was crying intermittently, kneeling in her bed, occasionally folding forward to rest her head on the pillow. Then up again, crying and screaming, saying over and over again, "I wanna snuggle my Daddy in the big bed, Mommy. I wanna snuggle my Daddy." This was definitely the most heart-breaking part for me - at first. I remembered all the other "tools" she had been using, and what her goal was. Her goal wasn't to snuggle with Dan. Once in The Big Bed, she would - and I know this in every inch of my body - wrap her arms around my neck and keep me from breathing like a healthy human being. I had to keep telling myself this - I wasn't denying her something she needed, and that all three of us need to start getting regular, dependable, recuperative sleep. I told her, out loud, "I know, honey. I know you do. It's hard when we can't do everything we want to do. It's nighttime, though, and it's time for you to sleep all alone in your bed. You're a big girl, and I know you can do it. I love you." I must have said, "I know, I know," forty times. I opted for "I know" rather than "It's okay; you're fine," because that would just be a lie.

Her words got softer, and the time between cries got longer. After 20 minutes of silence, I covered her in cozy blankets and crawled into The Big Bed.

I was completely wound up, cold from sitting on the floor, stressed about a full day of work ahead on so little sleep, and Dan was snoring like a wookie. But, I knew I had taken a step in the right direction. My kid will learn some independence, some self-soothing, and some boundaries. And, hopefully...I'll get some sleep.

My sleep problems guru, Dr. Sears has suggestions for parents on his website. Actually, it's not just "him." The awesome thing about Dr. Sears is that it's him, his RN wife, and his gaggle of genious kids who are also MDs. He's, like, 5 doctors, so he's, like, 5 times as helpful.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

New words!

Vi is still surprising (and confusing) us with her language development. Every day there are new, distinct words that she just starts using. For instance:
Girl
Puppy
Paint
Playdough
Hello (Hai-looooo)
George (as in Curious OR the collie who lives in our neighborhood)
Cream of Wheat
Milk
Book
Wash
Sit (or as she says it, Sit, sit, sit, sit.)
Turtle

She is also requesting more specific activities - she does The Monkey while saying "Do, do, do" as a request for music and dancing. She says "ay-eee-ay-eee-ay" as a request for me to sing Old MacDonald. And she says "See? See? See?" when she wants to go look at something. Her "yes" is still "yessssh," and her Riley is still "baaa-neeee." She knows groups of people - if I mention Grammy, she nods and says "Papou?" and if I mention Dylan she nods and says "Ah-dee!" for Dylan's daddy, Adam. She is still randomly exclaiming "Noni!" and "Ky!" although I realized yesterday she may be saying Noodles and Climb rather than Noa and Kyle. Still, when I ask if she can say Adrianne (Noa's mom and Kyle's wife and my good friend, owner of www.turtlelovecommittee.com) she nods her head yes. Like, "Yes, I can say that three-syllable word, but I choose not to."

In other news:

Dan is in his third week of truck-driving school. He really likes it! He's driving with his instructor out on the open road...he's a STUDENT DRIVER all over again. IN A VERY LARGE TRUCK.

Grandma is not doing well. She had a stroke and a seizure in the last week. Her language and other occupational skills are depleted to a 5-year-old level. All systems are functioning, but she's not really there. My aunt is so sad to see her like this every day, and my mother is planning on heading back in a couple of weeks.

Tax season is almost over! I have one more year-end financial package to prepare by tomorrow, one that is finished and needs to be sent off, and another client on extension that we're doing a few special projects on before finalizing their reports.

I've made the assumption that my readers know where I work and what I do, but that may not be the case. I am on LinkedIn, and you can see my profile and the information about my firm at http://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsaywalsh. I provide bookkeeping services to businesses of all sizes, customized to meet your needs, using Peachtree, QuickBooks, and Microsoft Dynamics GP. Services include but are not limited to: bank account reconciliation, financial statement preparation, payables and receivables management, quarterly and annual financial reviews, sales and payroll tax filing. My specialties include Financial review, annotation and reconciliation of financial statements for tax preparation, payroll, sales tax, payables, receivables, monthly write-up, Peachtree support and training.

Right now I'm working on a QuickBooks seminar , inventory valuation, payroll and bill-payment, and marketing our firm to the Southern Maine area...among other things. I keep busy. I work here full-time, and I am fortunate to say that I really love my job. I have great co-workers, clients, and the firm has a mission I enjoy upholding.

And...

I'm accepting new clients. Leads are welcome!

That's all from me today. It's a sunny and blustery day here, my tulips, daffodils and crocuses have poked their little heads up out of the dirt, and the 21st is just around the corner. I'm dreaming of Spring...

Potty!

Vi went pee-pee in the potty twice this weekend!

We haven't started potty "training," per se, yet. But she has been using the ASL sign for toilet for months now. She just recently started signing before going in her diaper, and reaching for an adult's hand to go with her to the bathroom, rather than just using the sign to tell us about her current, em, activity. We've been letting her sit on the toilet when she wants to, but not trying to establish any sort of pattern yet.

I got home from work on Friday, and my mother said, "That's so great the Vi is going pee in the potty now!" I was shocked! Sunday afternoon, she "asked" to sit on the potty, with a serious look in her eye. She sat there, stuffing toilet paper in between her legs happily for a minute or two. Then we both heard the same thing - pee! I thought her eyes were going to pop right out of her head. The one thing I've read about potty training is about praise, praise, praise. To sing and cheer and dance and yell "hurray!" a lot. So, I did. Vi did, too. It was super-cute to hear her shouting "Yea-eee! Yea-eee!" and "bye-bye!!!" as we flushed.

I guess I'd better figure out how to do this...! Any suggestions?

Christmas and December 2008 in review...

It's hard to believe the year is almost over. I do believe 2008 has been one of the most challenging and rewarding years of my life (so far.) I'm sure I'll have to take some "time to reflect" before New Year's Eve. For now, though, here's what we did in the past couple of weeks.



Many of you know that Maine was hit hard with an ice storm recently. We were without electricity for just over 24 hours at our house, but family members were without power for 3 and 4 days. Others in the state suffered for almost a week!



We heat our home with oil...our, I should say heatED. This summer Dan refurbished the boat and sold it, making enough money to install a chimney, hearth and wood-burning stove, plus buy enough wood for this winter and possibly next. The installation has been a struggle to say the least. We had a contractor lined up to do the whole project - he had great references, a good price, and Dan really liked him. He showed up with rusty, used parts that were not even the right size to meet code. There was no negotiating to happen with this guy, so he left and wouldn't return our calls. Thank goodness we hadn't given him any money. It was another month before we had someone else lined up, and he was a total administrative nightmare...he wrote down our information as Stan Welch, and kept getting our street name and family names mixed up...I actually told him that I was Stan's wife at one point...ha! When it was all said and done, he did a great job in little time for a great price.



Dan decided to build the hearth himself, which was a big leap of faith for me. Half-way through that piece of the project, our neighbor offered some advice, training, and help. In the end, he built the entire hearth in exchange for driveway snow-blowing for the winter! What a deal. The hearth was useable but not beautiful JUST in time for our power outtage, so we were toasty warm. We cooked on the stove, heated up water for baths, and dried hand-washed clothes on racks in the living room. We felt like frontier-folk. We were *almost* sad when the power returned.

Popps decided to do his physical rehab here in Maine, so he arrived shortly after Thanksgiving to a nursing home about 20 minutes North of us. We've been visiting him a lot, and he's been making great progress. He's using a walker and a wheelchair, doing his exercises, and seems to have made peace with his PT after a rocky start. He's hoping to return to NY soon.

Vi has had an action-packed month. Between OMT for last month's ear infection, eczema, and a tummy bug, she's been in and out of the doctors' offices too many times to count. Her ears are all cleared up, and she started a growth spurt just after a four-day BRAT diet. The eczema still hasn't cleared up, so we visited the homeopathic doctor last week. She thinks that it's not an allergy, but a wrecked gut...from the antibiotics last month for her ear infection and the tummy bug. She is helping us cure this from the inside out with Cod Liver Oil, ProBiotics, and a homepathic remedy for her general constitution to help her immune system get balanced. Plus, she's having us eliminate dairy and soy for a bit, just to help along the process. (Goat and Buffalo are fine...we're sticking with Goat's milk, since Buffalo milk sounds revolting and wrong.)

New words that she's trying out: help, hot, down, cup, sit, ball, eyeball and all gone. All gone is a good one - it comes out sounding like the Law & Order chime - Ga-gong!

Her "receptive" language is still thriving - she seems to understand more than we realize. She is also using her signs as much as ever. New signs include train and rabbit. She can point to her body parts, too, so we're singing a lot of "head, shoulders, knees and toes" lately. We've been asking her lots of questions and trying to improve her ability to constructively use all of these tools. So, lots of fun stories are to come, including:

My brother's family was in town for the holiday, and poor baby Addie has started teething. There was a lot of crying in the past couple of days. (Which made Dan and me realize that a baby's cry is loudest to the baby's parents. Funny what perspective does.) Recently, Addie gave up the pacifier/Nuk/binky/bubba. I asked Vi if Addie had told her what she needed. (I sort of think the little ones actually understand each other...any research to prove that? I'd love to read it.) Vi nodded her head and said, "Yeh." I asked her, "What does baby Addie need?" Vi responded, enthusiastically and unprompted, "Bubba!"

This is one of those stories that's hard to tell without sounding judgemental, so I want to be clear that Addie's doing great without the bubba, does not need one, and I'm not suggesting they try to give her one! The Bub is one of those areas each parent has to make their own choices about, and I know how much I dislike uninvited advice. JD and I were comiserating about strangers giving us advice in public...so strange. That's the easy advice to shirk. Intra-family advice is harder because the advisors are witnesses to your choices. It can be hard to not take it personally, when parenting methods are not the same. I know we have different rules about bubbas and TV than my sister's family, and that sleep and slings are big differences between me and my brother's family...but you know what? It doesn't matter. I mean, of course it matters that one parents mindfully and makes these decisions with the overall health of all the family members being a priority, but it doesn't matter that we do it differently. These kids are all growing up loved and taken care of, with a great big family that loves them. That's all that matters.

Another word that Vi definitely understands is "scream." If you say the word, she willingly demonstrates. How can such little lungs make so much noise?

Christmas was great. We did our usual multi-family run-around - three families in one day. Vi got lots of new books, a table & chairs set, an emperor penguin, clothes, shoes, and money for college. I got clothes, a Kitchenaid mixer, slippers, and lots of sleep. Dan got a leather jacket, books, iTunes gift cards, and gift certificates for shoes and a wood-carrier. We got money for our oil bill, too, which is great...we'll have hardly spent any of our own money on oil this year! With a bunch of gift certificates combined, we also got a new camera. (RIP our Sony.)

My sister was here with her kids, and we got to go sledding, watch Prince Caspian, play with the electric train, draw and decorate cookies. The kids all did some disco-diva dancing at my dad's house that evening. I am hoping we have some video to post, because it was pretty hilarious. There will definitely be lots of great pictures coming from Noelle.

And, today, it's back to work. Just a 3-day work week for me, so I should really be plowing through my to-dos rather than writing in my diary...

Happy New Year to all of you!

P.S. 8 days until Birthday.

Talking!

We've joked for a while that when Vi starts talking, she'd be using full sentences. It might not be more than one word at a time, but today Vi decided to start using multiple words:

1) Mama
2) Dada
3) Cheese
4) Boo
5) Clap



We were doing a round of "Who's that?" which is usually a pointing game, when Vi announced that I am Mama and Dan is Dada. Later in the day, we were taking pictures with Auntie Boo, and when asked to smile & say "cheese," Vi complied. The later "Who's that?" game included Boo, and Vi repeated the name. Throughout the day, when babbling to herself and clapping, Vi kept saying something that sounded like "clap, clap, clap."

So, here we go...she'll be saying "Merry Christmas" to you all this year, I'm sure. :-)

Released from the vault...

From Las Vegas, November, 2007:

Sitting on the floor, laughing

This is what we do.

Dan and I sit on the floor, and watch Vi wander around the house. We hear her silly soliloquy of thoroughly-enunciated nonsense words, and repeat the noises back to her as if they were real words and we're seeking clarification or remarking on her insight. It often sounds like "Philadelphia Gilda Radner Lovenox?" or "Botox Zimbabwe, uh-huh, I know..." She stumbles around, tries to run, chases the dog, casts us a knowing glance with nose wrinkled, kisses the cat, pauses for a snack, then keeps moving. She's VERY BUSY. She seems to be saying, "Are you getting this? I'm hilarious."

Vi has three official words, in order of frequency:
1) Woof
2) Meow
3) Down (which comes out as "goooowwwww," always slightly growled.)

"Meow" started out as "now," with a long, drawn -out but not stuttered "n," said in the sweetest tone of voice. "Woof" comes out whenever she hears a dog barking - which, in our neighborhood, is very often.

Vi has picked up on some sign language, too. Some of our friends are doing the baby sign language thing, some are doing ASL...we're not REALLY doing either. It looked really interesting, so I decided to try a couple of signs that I looked up online at http://www.aslpro.com/cgi-bin/aslpro/aslpro.cgi. Obviously, we started with dog, cat, and down. She picked up dog within three or four days, and started using it for everything furry. She would point at a cat and sign dog while saying "nnnnnow." So, we started showing her the sign for cat pretty diligently. She resisted for a long time, then suddenly, this weekend, she got it. Down is pretty easy - pointing down. We also looked up food, more, water, airplane, mother and father. She will sometimes do the food sign, will usually repeat the sign for more when we ask if she wants more while signing, and makes her own special hand-in-the-air gesture whenever she sees a plane.

It really amazes me, how much she is learning, how much she can learn, how much she is innately capable of doing. Some times we are too tired to chase her, so we literally just sit on the floor and allow ourselves to be entertained. She was so silly tonight - crashing into things then giggling, walking around holding a book in front of her face, chasing the dog, screaming out the back door, climbing over and around me...at one point she fell down on her bum and just started laughing. I couldn't help but join in, and we went back and forth giggling at each other for several minutes.

Suddenly I don't have a baby - I have a child. And she cracks me right up.

Quick update!

Vi is walking - a bit. A few steps at a time.

Vi has her first pair of shoes. Although she removes them within minutes, she eventually finds them and holds them up to me, with a frantic look in her eye and a loud request from her mouth to have them put back on.

She's pointing with intention, not just to see how her finger feels in that position. We've had to hide certain foods from her - teething biscuits, mostly - to keep her diet varied.

She's trying out new dance moves all the time. I'll try to get some video clips of it to post.

My sister Noelle was in New England over the weekend for our sister-in-law's baby shower. In addition to photo-journaling the party, she took several beautiful pictures of Vi. I'll post them when I can.

I had more to say, specific stories to post, but I can't seem to remember any of them. Plus, I'm at work, and should 'focus, pocus' as my new dear friend Adrianne would remind me.

Learning to walk

Harder than I ever imagined

I didn't know it would be this difficult.

I didn't know it would be this sudden.

I didn't know I could cry so hard.

I've stopped producing milk. Even typing those words makes my eyes well up with tears.

I'm one of those women who LOVED breastfeeding. I thought it was going to be difficult when we started weaning, that I would miss it, that she would fuss, that we would still have a before-bed or first-thing in the morning feeding that would last for several months beyond her first birthday. Knowing that Vi, like most babies, has her own unique developmental schedule, I wasn't sure if we'd start weaning around 12 months, earlier, or later.

We started much earlier, because she started biting me. When I asked my lactation consultant what to do when she started biting - several months ago, before The Teeth arrived - she said, "A baby who is nursing properly won't bite, because the tongue is in the way." In retrospect, I should have said, "Yeah, but what about when she's nursing improperly?" or, "Great, can I talk to another consultant now, please?" Because, I knew full-well, that babies bite when nursing!

So, I read up on it. One book said to scold the baby firmly - a loud, angry "No." One book said to gently remove the baby and say "That hurst Mama." One said to smother the baby - pull her closer to the breast - so that breathing is constricted, thus letting the baby realize, "Oh, I can't bite and breathe and nurse at the same time. I'd better let go." One said to cry. I tried all of these things, but that little baby would stop nursing, bite, and look at me out of the corner of her eyes to see what sort of reaction she would get. (As I write this I realize that maybe NO reaction at all would have worked for Vi. Hmm. Damn you, retrospect.) She would often laugh or smile at whatever I did.

I started pumping and giving her a bottle instead of nursing, which was really difficult - emotionally and logistically. Pumping is really time-consuming, and, while I don't believe in parenting by convenience, doubling the time it takes to feed was just out of the question for me. We started supplementing with formula. I was only breastfeeding in the wee hours of the morning, when she was half-awake and hungry (and not looking for the joy of biting). I was only pumping once a day. I figured if she could continue to have one or two full servings of breastmilk a day until she's 12 months old, that would be great for her immune system.

I looked in the feezer yesterday, and realized there was no more breastmilk in storage.

Then last night, I sat down to pump, and nothing came out. I pumped for forty minutes - nothing.

In the wee hours of the morning, I padded into the kitchen and mixed a bottle of formula, instead of bringing my sweet baby to my breast and providing her what only I could provide.

And I cried myself back to sleep.

Birthday Season!

We have been very fortunate to remain friends with several couples from our prenatal education classes with Birth Roots and Portland Yoga Studio. Two of the babies have recently celebrated their first birthday, so we have gotten lots of baby-pile fun-time. I walked into one party, and there was a baby I hadn't seen in six months, standing in the middle of the room with her mom's purse over her shoulder. I was already doing a double-take of how grown-up she looked when she started WALKING towards me.

The past year has gone by so fast, and here we are, throwing parties with cupcakes and Cheerios, and hoping our little ones get covered in frosting. (Yes, I said hoping they DO get covered. We're just that kind of people.)



Here's a picture of Vi, stunned with glee at the TOYS! BABIES! FUN! at this weekend's party:

Should have knocked on wood

On Monday Vi had a vaccination called PREVNAR. It's supposed to help prevent strep-pneumonia and ear infections. Apparently, one of the possible side effects is diarrhea. So many wonderful stories there...but don't worry, I won't bother you with such colorful tales.

We've discovered that Vi is extremely sensitive to vaccinations. Not necessarily to the shot, the needle, but to the actual junk that's injected into her tiny little body. (Which is, by the way, not so tiny anymore. She can hardly stand up beneath the dining room table, her thighs finally have a little pudge, and her belly is getting a bit round.) Knowing that I'm quite sensitive to all medicines (and life in general), that there are allergies and Aspergers and other risk factors on both sides of her family tree, we decided when she was born to consult with a homeopathic doctor in our area whose specialties are pediatrics and immunizations. She helped us create a customized immunization schedule based on Vi's family medical history.

She prescribed a homeopathic remedy which, I'm convinced, got Vi to stop crying in the car.

Vi had a horrible reaction to her first shot. She didn't really notice the needle, and was in good spirits for a few hours. Towards the end of the day, she completely melted down and was inconsolable. Completely inconsolable. Dan called the homeopathic doctor, she told him what remedy to try, and within twenty minutes Vi had fallen into a deep, contented slumber.

So, we like her. She GETS it. She GETS our parenting style. She GETS Vi. Her homeopathic remedies work for Vi. And, she is very, very cool.

The "should have knocked on wood" part is that since Monday's shot, Vi hasn't slept through the night. I had a sick, superstitious feeling when I created my last post that just by thinking it out loud, the spell would be broken, and we would be back to 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock, 4 o'clock wakings.

We are.

We made the mistake of breaking with some of our patterns that first night. And we broke the patterns every other night, too. So, we're back to square one, because I think she's pretty much un-learned everything she had figured out about how to sleep. The good news is that - according to this doctor - she'll probably be able to get back to where she was last week quickly. Maybe just a few nights.

And if not, she's got a remedy for that, too.

Knock on Wood

For almost eleven months now, I've been asked the question "Is she a good baby?" Which, by the way, seems like a very strange question to me. I mean, really. What could she do to be classified as a "bad" baby? Burn the house down? Cuss? I don't think I would want to have a baby who was completely uninterested in exploring the world around her. But that's just me.

I usually respond to the question by saying, yeah, she's a wonderful baby, she's a pretty happy baby, she eats well and is so funny. She's not good at sleeping more than three hours a stretch, but that doesn't seem to bother her a bit. We're exhausted wrecks, but she's happy.

The mildly superstitious side of me is concerned that announcing this week's turn of events will jinx her progress.

But, screw it. The fog is starting to clear, and I want to shout from the rooftop. Vi has slept until 4:00 am five nights this week! She's doing it! Finally! FINALLY!!!

Things we tried:
A crib in her room
White noise
Night light
Repetitive lullabies
Sleeping in her room, for quick, comforting shushing and bottom-taps
Co-sleeper (which, duh, isn't for the already-crawling baby)
Bed-sharing (which isn't for the hates-to-be-kicked parent. Fine and wonderful for the newborn and for parts of the night, but not for all-night with a 10-month old)
Waiting two minutes, then three minutes, then four minutes before going to comfort her (which totally did not work for any of us. When I got to thinking about it, what exactly is the lesson a baby is learning from that exercise? Our doctor recommended this method, but he's all about Ferber. Sleep issues is one issue on which he and I don't see eye to eye. I'm not interested in forcing her to learn to sleep on her own just so I can get some rest and feel less insane. She'll learn on her own time and with gentle, loving care that makes her feel safe enough to progress.)
Feeding more food during the day, eliminating feedings one by one overnight.
Nighttime routine - bath, massage, bed. This didn't work for us. We changed it to bath, family-time/book-time/snuggle-time, bed. We climb into bed with a pile of books, read, point, ooh and ahh, and then she climbs around, flops around, rolls around until she's asleep. With very little help from us.
A pack-n-play in our room

Things we didn't try:
Letting her cry it out.
Letting her cry herself to sleep.
Leaving her alone to cry until she fell asleep exhausted.
The Ferber method.
The Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby method.
The Baby Whisperer method.
Any method that involved her crying herself to sleep.
Pattern? Yup. I was told that 1) I had to be tough and let her cry herself to sleep or she'd NEVER learn and 2) I'll let my second baby cry his/herself to sleep (which, I really hope I don't).

The final winner is a combination of the things we tried. Night time routine of bath and family time. One theory I had was that she missed Dan, because he's working long summer hours, and was waking up wanting to see him. Extra time with him before bed seemed to help. Pack-n-play in our room is great for her and us - It's easy for us to hear her if she does need us, and she can hear us, which seems to be soothing to her. Feeding more during the day and not at night. I don't believe in stuffing a baby at bed time - everything I've read says that against conventional wisdom, this isn't effective.

That's it. We'll see if she's just turned a corner, or is trying something out for this week. I'll keep you posted. For now, we're catching up on several months of sleep deprivation, and looking forward to a much less cloudy outlook on life and less anxiety at night.

Weekend on the Cape

Dan, Vi and I travelled to Cape Cod for a family wedding this weekend. The wedding was sweet and short, and the reception was hoppin'. For the meat lovers, the filet mignon was apparently TO DIE FOR. We stayed in a cool condo in a little wooded area in Mashpee - Cape Cod Holiday Estates. I would highly recommend this place if you're travelling to that area! We had a two-bedroom unit. It had a master bedroom with a huge bathroom - jacuzzi, shower, high ceilings - and a second bedroom with two twin beds and a 3/4 bath. Full kitchen - FULL = table to seat 8, full-size fridge, oven, toaster, coffee pot, microwave, DISHWASHER. Living room with sofas, coffee table, desk with internet access. Sitting room with TV and a pull-out queen-size sofa bed. I don't know how this is possible, but it was only $120. Clean, nice, and, oh! I forgot - a deck with a grill.

My friend Bonnie came up from RI to watch Vi during the wedding. Had it not been for the other 250 guests, Dan and I would have had a real date. :-) After the event, Bonnie and I stayed up and watched Footloose! and whined about silly boys. Some Hagen Daaz would have completed the effect.


Other than that, same-old, same-old. We're both working hard. We have 3 more weddings this summer, and too many birthdays to count. Dan's prepping the boat for sale. That's right - not for S-A-I-L, but for S-A-L-E. (Know anyone who wants to buy a cool 16-foot outboard runaround?) We're selling it so that we can install a wood-burning stove, since oil prices will force us to choose between starvation and frostbite this winter.

Vi is growing fast. She really wants to be walking, but isn't quite there yet. She will do animal noises - when she wants to. Her piggy impression is quite good. She's trying hard for a good elephant sound, often succeeds at a very clear Woof or Quack, really enjoys trying a Cock-a-Doodle-Doo, and can definitely do the fishy noise. When I say, "What does the rabbit say?" She immediately turns her head to look at me twitching my nose and making a toothy face. Apparently the rabbit says - Don't worry, Momma will do it.

Here's a video of her latest specialty:

(Disclaimer: I was behind the camera, so many of you know what that implies about the quality of the film. For those of you who don't know...my apologies. Yes, I know it's sideways. yes, I know it's dark. Sorry, sorry.)

A few more pictures from this Spring.

Crazy hair
Playing with the fur pelt at Dan's parents' house:

Uncle Jasper, also playing with the fur pelt. Sorry ladies, he's not really that furry.

Vi playing with her Cheerios. Trouble ahead.

Trouble DIRECTLY ahead.

Long time, no write!

It's been a very long time since I had a spare moment, and chose to use it writing here. So much has happened!

Vi is crawling and cruising (for you laypeople - that means pulling herself up into standing, and sort of walking around while holding onto furniture). She is babbling, still. As you can see below, she is pointing. At everything. All the time. Sometimes, she points up with both hands, then cocks her head to the side and shrugs. Talk about cute!! When she's crawling away from me, I say, "Excuse me, Miss?" and she stops, turns, giggles, then continues along her way. As if to say, "Yeah? You talkin' to me? Talk to my taillights, 'cuz I'm outta here." She still emits a loud, crystal-shattering shriek whenever Mitten saunters into eyesight. (She also made this noise at an airline stewardess mid-flight. Almost made her spill my tomato juice.)

We drove to Westwood, MA for a bridal shower two weeks ago. Vi slept the entire way there and back, and was great at the party. She oohed and aahed as Haley opened her gifts. She flipped through her ABC board book. One of the games at the shower was for the bride to answer 'trivia' questions about the groom. One question was "what book is Jared currently reading?" The correct answer was, "He's not reading anything right now." Someone piped up and said, "That baby's reading more than your fiance'!" Okay...you had to be there. Funnier in the moment.

She really IS reading a lot...if you put a pile of toys and a pile of books in front of her, she will paw through the books first.

One thing she's not doing is sleeping well. Not napping for me during the day (she napped for a brand-new babysitter the other day, but for me? No.) and certainly not sleeping through the night. Not "sleeping like a baby" at all. Whoever came up with that phrase is an idiot. We've tried the go-to-sleep routine. We've tried the let-her-cry for just-a-minute routine. We've tried keeping her in bed. She just won't give us a real pattern to follow, or try to adapt! When one starts to emerge, so do four new teeth, so she's up in pain. Or she'll get a cold. Or a vaccination. I know how tired I am - I haven't had more than a dozen full nights of sleep in 18 months! She must be pretty tired, too. Not sure where she gets all of her giggling and crawling energy from.

She's eating a lot, too. Avocado, carrots, potatoes. Pears, apples, blueberries. Oatmeal, barley, rice. Bread, Pirate's Booty, Cheerios. She has days when she insists on self-feeding, and others when the spoon can't get from mouth to bowl to mouth fast enough. She has six teeth - four on top, two on the bottom. Her toothy grin keeps getting cuter. She was "kissing" Dan last night (this involves a lot of drool and a slimy baby tongue on your cheek) and decided to chomp down on his cheek. He has a big red mark from it! And yes, I'm still breastfeeding. No injuries to report.

Grammy (my mom) is back to feeling herself, and has been coming to watch Vi twice a week for the past couple of weeks. She'll continue doing one day a week, and may stick to two if she wants to. Vi crawls towards her, screeching and smiling, every time she arrives.

Other family news:

Dad had a 1.6 cm kidney stone lithotripsied-out two weeks ago. Suddenly his back doesn't hurt anymore. :-)

Steph is showing and glowing, as she should be! I forget how beautiful a pregnant woman can be!
They'll be moving back to NYC after the baby comes - JD first, for work, then Steph to follow.

Ben has started T-Ball, and Noelle is the coach. (Co-coaching with Mr. McHotty.)

Noelle broke/sprained her foot the other day.

I broke a toe the next day in sympathy.

Dan is super-busy with work again. It's that time of year - he works in retail, for a marine supplier. His weeks have gone from a standard 45 hours to about 60+ hours. He doesn't get paid overtime, and there are days when he leaves so early and gets home so late that he doesn't see Vi at all. I know it's a good job, but it seems like other people would do this "paying your dues" thing for a couple of years to get ahead...and we just keep paying and paying and paying, and getting further behind. And we miss him. It's hard being a single mom for a few hours each day - I can't imagine doing it full-time.

After a long search full of FRUIT LOOPS, LUNATICS, and FLAKES...we finally found a mother's helper/babysitter to come watch Vi on my work-at-home days. She's got a great attitude, is super-helpful, has great instincts with Vi, and Vi loves her. Feet-kicking, screeching and pointing when she arrives. :-)
Work has finally levelled off for me...funny how childcare has helped me get caught up, eh?

Spring is finally here - the lilacs are in bloom, my tulips are all up (well, the ones that remain after the squirrel pillaging), the sun is shining..! Springtime in Maine is the best. We got our inaugural ice cream cone a couple of weeks ago. It's so nice to get out, too. Even a quick stroll around the block, or just sitting on a blanket in the grass, is such a much-needed change of pace. Summer will be here soon, and it's a busy one. We have four weddings (well, 3 weddings and one Civil Union) to attend, seven family birthdays, one anniversary, several friends' and babies' birthdays, lots of fish to catch, squash to grill, weeds to pull, and grass-stains to get. I'm dying to get Vi into a pool somewhere, too. She has a couple of swim suits already...yes, I'll post some pictures. :-)

She's still asleep, so I should really be getting some work done, some laundry folded, some dishes washed...something.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. Looking forward to seeing some of you as you come to Maine this summer!!!

A few pictures to hold you over...

...until I have time to write some updates!
http://picasaweb.google.com/linzwalsh/March242008/photo#s5181466220382011250

Updates to include:
- pre-crawling
- teething
- solid foods
- sound experimentation
- cousins

She'll be eight months old next week. Hard to believe.

Columbus Day Weekend

Dan and I had the rare 3-day weekend together. Since he works Tuesday - Saturday, and I normally work Monday - Friday, in order to even have a 2-day weekend together it requires quite a bit of scheduling. He managed to get Saturday off, and today was a holiday for my company. We agreed that a trip to Eustis was in order.

A slideshow of pictures from our weekend can be seen here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/linzwalsh/EustisColumbusDayWeekend2007

A preview of the slideshow:

I also put together a slideshow of updated pictures of Vi. She's 10 weeks old tomorrow!! She had her 2-month checkup today. Her height and weight are both in the 75th percentile, and her head has caught up to that level, too. She weighs 11 pounds, 12 ounces, and she is 23 1/2 inches long. She's just about ready to roll over, she is grabbing and holding onto things (time to find a rattle!), and still giggling like a happy baby.

Here is the slideshow:
http://picasaweb.google.com/linzwalsh/VigoliaPix10Weeks


Last weekend Vi got to meet her cousins for the first time. I'll have to put up more pictures from that weekend later, because they were all so cute. Here is one with her cousin Benjamin:


It might be time to change the name of this blog, eh? We'll see...

What's new with Vi?

She found her thumb, started giggling, and is suddenly HUGE!

We weighed her, most recently, at my mom's candy kitchen. So she wouldn't fall off the fudge scale, we put her in a cookie box first. Of course, we didn't get a picture. Duh. We'll re-enact the incident with a camera handy, soon. Anyway, she weighed about 11 pounds!!! She is out-growing her clothes so fast. There are some adorable outfits we were given that she will never wear. There are also some not-adorable ones that she will never wear...!

I took her to an osteopath yesterday for a preventative-care type of evaluation. She had her first OMT (osteopathic manipulation treatment), and did very well. It's all gentle movement, almost like a massage, to see how she is aligned, connected, and all that. It's the same sort of treatment I get for my back and my migraines.

I have now been back to work for three full weeks, and it has, indeed, gotten easier to leave her on the days I work out of the home. The rest of the time, she is with me, going to clients' offices to do bookkeeping, going to doctors' appointments, grocery shopping, and so on. She doesn't usually like being in her car seat - we've tried everything, and every combination of everything. Sometimes she's happy as a clam - giggling, even. Other times, she screams bloody murder when her body touches the seat, I swear. I know where all of the safe places to pull over and nurse/burp/diaper/bounce a baby between Brunswick and Kennebunk. Here is a miracle picture - Vi actually smiling in her car seat:

We've been enjoying the Autumn weather. Sunday we had a picnic at Kettle Cove:

Vi loves bath time:

Some more current pictures:

I posted a slideshow on picasa, at: http://picasaweb.google.com/linzwalsh/VigoliaPix if you'd like to see more pictures.

Oh, and just because Maine is beautiful and everyone we love should live here, I will share some pictures Dan took last week while fishing:

One month old!

Vi will be 5 weeks old tomorrow. It's hard to believe an entire month has already passed; it seems like we just got home from the hospital. Somedays, though, it feels like she's always been here, and I can't remember life before her. Even pregnancy is a blur... Here are some new pictures from her 5th week on Earth:

Vi and Riley are getting along great! He loves to sniff her head and lick her toes.

Here she is on the last day of our "Blossoming Newborns" new mommies class.

The official Class Picture! Just look at all the babies... so sweet!

Vi swaddled up in her Jensen Blankies. This is the official "Sleep for 3 hours" setup. We love the Jensens. LOVE THEM.

Vi is so into her mobiles all of a sudden!


Vi is in love with Wally the Green Monster, the Red Sox mascot on her changing-table mobile.
Here she is, smiling up at the mobile! She gets so excited when she hears "Take me out to the ballgame" playing.
Here she is, with her goofy big brother giving her dog-ears. What a clown. :-)
Vi's first trip to Eustis! It took us 2 1/2 hours to get there, and 5 1/2 to get back. Lots of tears.
Here she is, cozy in her sling, with Daddy working on a lean-to sort of wood-pile covering.