Marriage Equality Act repealed

I'm trying to be brave with this entry. Any "yes on 1" supporters will not like it. Anyone who doesn't want to hear me bear my soul or read about my past- skip it. Posting this, along with my wimpy disclaimer, is as brave as I feel I can be today.

Yesterday, I awoke to the sad news that the Marriage Equality Act had been repealed by the people's veto in Maine.

Repealed. Revoked. Rejected.

I still feel like I need a good cry over it - I've been on the verge several times in the middle of appointments with prospective clients. Sometimes I feel like a real wimp for not just going with the feeling, inconvenient or not. But...losing an opportunity for work while crying in front of a stranger doesn't do much for the cause or for my company. Be reasonable, I tell myself.

I know we've come so far since Stonewall.

I know we've come even further in the last 12 years. I remember counting signatures, hoping to find duplicates or fraudulent entries on the petition to repeal the anti-discrimination law that led to a February election day in 1997. Here's an article about that effort:
http://www.qrd.org/qrd/www/usa/maine/ap-2.9.98.html

And, I remember feeling doomed and alone and disappointed on that February 11th. That winter was a strange one in my life...I had just moved out on my own, my grandmother passed away, and I broke off relations with most of my dearest, oldest friends. I had just broken up with a wonderful woman - yes, woman. I know now that it couldn't have lasted, but at the time I was looking forward to the day that gay marriage was legalized, and I couldn't see celebrating that day any other way than dancing barefoot on a beach in Maine with my bride. Silly girl, I was. But ,I have no regrets.

Today, I am married to a wonderful man, and we have a beautiful daughter. Besides driving around with a No on 1 bumper sticker, and posting comments on Facebook, I did nothing to support this campaign. Nothing. Not even a single evening of phonebanking. THAT, I regret. Denying my past with a "don't ask, don't tell" mentality, I regret.

I'll always know that I could have done more, and I am hopeful that I will find the courage to MAKE TIME to help as this fight continues.

For now, my biggest contribution is raising the next generation. I know that Vi will see same-sex marriage as nothing new, nothing odd, just...part of our belief in equality and civil rights.

I will teach her to hope, if only to remind myself that we must never give up.

I don't have much on the tip of my "pen" today. Here is a list of mildly interesting occurences from the past 24 hours:

1) Dan's car did NOT need a new wheel bearing, which is a good thing. Wheel bearings are expensive. It DID, though, need some new lug nuts. I thoroughly approve of the phrase "lug nuts." It's quite nice to say. Lug. Nuts. Go ahead, try it.

2) Vi slept fairly well last night, only getting up once. I have no idea why.

3) I slept fairly well last night, although Riley was hogging the blankets.

4) I saw two foxes! Last night, I went to Friendly's for what is becoming a regular ice cream date with my friend Adrianne. After gabbing longer than the allowable booth-rental period, she drove me home and we continued to gab in the car, parked in front of my house. (Very good gab session.) I saw what I thought were two cats trotting down the street, so I excitedly said, "Ooh! Cats!" (I state the obvious with exuberance.) One walked by the car, and Adrianne turned on her headlights to see the second one. It was then that we thought - huh. That's either a tall cat or a short dog, and soon realized that it was a fox. The headlights stunned the poor critter, and after a moment's pause, he walked up my driveway, across my doorstep, through my yard, down my neighbors' driveway, then ran down the street to the Pekinese-owning Republicans' house. (They are new renters who are never home, so we don't know them...but I've seen their dog and their McCain sign, so we just refer to them as The Republicans.) People tell me that seeing a fox - or maybe having one cross your path? - is good luck. I'm happily anticipating my good fortune.

5) Vi had OMM this morning at the University of New England; she's participating in their free clinic, which allows students to practice and learn and allows patients free treatment. She did really well, and the teaching doctor explained that there is some compression in her skull and around her sacrum. They're going to hang her upside-down next week to help relieve it. Sounds fun to me! I know hanging upside-down in yoga always helps with my musculo-skeletal issues.

This is the final week of corporate-crunch, race to the finish, hurry up and finish up 2008 books for my clients. It's pretty crazy in my office - lots to do. Therefore, I am now signing off.

Have a great Tuesday!

P.S. My mother is back from Ohio. I'll post some of her funny stories from when my poor grandmother was on pain killers... I think we're all laughing about it, now.

Ready to Spring Forward

Maybe it's been colder and snowier than usual, but I am so looking forward to Spring. Every night when I place scraps of food in our compost bin, I get excited in my head about it. My reason? I can't wait to put in our garden. True, this year it will have more meaning for us to plant, grow, and harvest our own food, for pennies on the dollar we would spend buying produce at a grocery store. That is a very big piece of my anticipation. I really look forward to getting my hands dirty, smelling the earth, and the satisfaction of eating a cherry tomato right off the plant. One of my favorite memories of last summer is of Vi picking yellow beans and cherry tomatoes; she would wander around the backyard with her new-walker waddle, munching on something fresh.

The other reason I am excited? This will be the first summer in 10 years that Dan will get to spend with me. TRULY spend with me. Two years ago he managed to take two weeks off, straddling Vi's birth. I'm still not sure how that was made possible! Managing a boating supply store in the summer required, usually, 60-plus hours a week on his part. There were days he wouldn't see Vi awake at all - isn't that heart-breaking? I simply cannot wait for beach days and picnics - with my husband and daughter (and maybe Riley.)

Happy New Year!

Here are some photos from my sister - just a select few; I'll post a picasa album later this week.

A moment with Dada.

With Grammy and cousins, saying "Make a silly face? If Addie's not, I'm not."

Don't worry, Addie's vital signs were being monitored by Grammy.

Being a Big Help to Grammy.

More baby sweetnesss.


My new favorite photo...ever.

Vi's first sledding adventure!

Mmmm...snow.

Christmas and December 2008 in review...

It's hard to believe the year is almost over. I do believe 2008 has been one of the most challenging and rewarding years of my life (so far.) I'm sure I'll have to take some "time to reflect" before New Year's Eve. For now, though, here's what we did in the past couple of weeks.



Many of you know that Maine was hit hard with an ice storm recently. We were without electricity for just over 24 hours at our house, but family members were without power for 3 and 4 days. Others in the state suffered for almost a week!



We heat our home with oil...our, I should say heatED. This summer Dan refurbished the boat and sold it, making enough money to install a chimney, hearth and wood-burning stove, plus buy enough wood for this winter and possibly next. The installation has been a struggle to say the least. We had a contractor lined up to do the whole project - he had great references, a good price, and Dan really liked him. He showed up with rusty, used parts that were not even the right size to meet code. There was no negotiating to happen with this guy, so he left and wouldn't return our calls. Thank goodness we hadn't given him any money. It was another month before we had someone else lined up, and he was a total administrative nightmare...he wrote down our information as Stan Welch, and kept getting our street name and family names mixed up...I actually told him that I was Stan's wife at one point...ha! When it was all said and done, he did a great job in little time for a great price.



Dan decided to build the hearth himself, which was a big leap of faith for me. Half-way through that piece of the project, our neighbor offered some advice, training, and help. In the end, he built the entire hearth in exchange for driveway snow-blowing for the winter! What a deal. The hearth was useable but not beautiful JUST in time for our power outtage, so we were toasty warm. We cooked on the stove, heated up water for baths, and dried hand-washed clothes on racks in the living room. We felt like frontier-folk. We were *almost* sad when the power returned.

Popps decided to do his physical rehab here in Maine, so he arrived shortly after Thanksgiving to a nursing home about 20 minutes North of us. We've been visiting him a lot, and he's been making great progress. He's using a walker and a wheelchair, doing his exercises, and seems to have made peace with his PT after a rocky start. He's hoping to return to NY soon.

Vi has had an action-packed month. Between OMT for last month's ear infection, eczema, and a tummy bug, she's been in and out of the doctors' offices too many times to count. Her ears are all cleared up, and she started a growth spurt just after a four-day BRAT diet. The eczema still hasn't cleared up, so we visited the homeopathic doctor last week. She thinks that it's not an allergy, but a wrecked gut...from the antibiotics last month for her ear infection and the tummy bug. She is helping us cure this from the inside out with Cod Liver Oil, ProBiotics, and a homepathic remedy for her general constitution to help her immune system get balanced. Plus, she's having us eliminate dairy and soy for a bit, just to help along the process. (Goat and Buffalo are fine...we're sticking with Goat's milk, since Buffalo milk sounds revolting and wrong.)

New words that she's trying out: help, hot, down, cup, sit, ball, eyeball and all gone. All gone is a good one - it comes out sounding like the Law & Order chime - Ga-gong!

Her "receptive" language is still thriving - she seems to understand more than we realize. She is also using her signs as much as ever. New signs include train and rabbit. She can point to her body parts, too, so we're singing a lot of "head, shoulders, knees and toes" lately. We've been asking her lots of questions and trying to improve her ability to constructively use all of these tools. So, lots of fun stories are to come, including:

My brother's family was in town for the holiday, and poor baby Addie has started teething. There was a lot of crying in the past couple of days. (Which made Dan and me realize that a baby's cry is loudest to the baby's parents. Funny what perspective does.) Recently, Addie gave up the pacifier/Nuk/binky/bubba. I asked Vi if Addie had told her what she needed. (I sort of think the little ones actually understand each other...any research to prove that? I'd love to read it.) Vi nodded her head and said, "Yeh." I asked her, "What does baby Addie need?" Vi responded, enthusiastically and unprompted, "Bubba!"

This is one of those stories that's hard to tell without sounding judgemental, so I want to be clear that Addie's doing great without the bubba, does not need one, and I'm not suggesting they try to give her one! The Bub is one of those areas each parent has to make their own choices about, and I know how much I dislike uninvited advice. JD and I were comiserating about strangers giving us advice in public...so strange. That's the easy advice to shirk. Intra-family advice is harder because the advisors are witnesses to your choices. It can be hard to not take it personally, when parenting methods are not the same. I know we have different rules about bubbas and TV than my sister's family, and that sleep and slings are big differences between me and my brother's family...but you know what? It doesn't matter. I mean, of course it matters that one parents mindfully and makes these decisions with the overall health of all the family members being a priority, but it doesn't matter that we do it differently. These kids are all growing up loved and taken care of, with a great big family that loves them. That's all that matters.

Another word that Vi definitely understands is "scream." If you say the word, she willingly demonstrates. How can such little lungs make so much noise?

Christmas was great. We did our usual multi-family run-around - three families in one day. Vi got lots of new books, a table & chairs set, an emperor penguin, clothes, shoes, and money for college. I got clothes, a Kitchenaid mixer, slippers, and lots of sleep. Dan got a leather jacket, books, iTunes gift cards, and gift certificates for shoes and a wood-carrier. We got money for our oil bill, too, which is great...we'll have hardly spent any of our own money on oil this year! With a bunch of gift certificates combined, we also got a new camera. (RIP our Sony.)

My sister was here with her kids, and we got to go sledding, watch Prince Caspian, play with the electric train, draw and decorate cookies. The kids all did some disco-diva dancing at my dad's house that evening. I am hoping we have some video to post, because it was pretty hilarious. There will definitely be lots of great pictures coming from Noelle.

And, today, it's back to work. Just a 3-day work week for me, so I should really be plowing through my to-dos rather than writing in my diary...

Happy New Year to all of you!

P.S. 8 days until Birthday.

Birth Roots!

I mentioned Birth Roots many times during pregnancy - this is the Perinatal Resource Center here in Portland which offered the childbirth education, breastfeeding, parenting, and newborn classes in which Dan and I participated. This is the place co-founded by our awesome doula, Leah and her amazing business partner, Emily.

Birth Roots recently re-located, due in part to the closure of Portland's only free-standing birthing center, the Ballard House, which had leased space to perinatal resource groups through the years. Their new location is larger and more functional for the types of classes and services offered. On Sunday, I attended the grand opening of the new location. Here's a clip from the local news:

http://www.wcsh6.com/video/default.aspx?mid=895208689

I strongly encourage any family preparing for birth in the Portland area to see what Birth Roots is all about. I really liked the independent nature of the courses, which allowed for more open discussion on the shared experience. Rather than taking a course hosted by the hospital where we gave birth-which, I'm sure, is a fine course- we were able talk about how I wanted give birth, not just what it would be like at that particular facility. In our Birthing from Within class there was couple who started out planning to birth at Mercy Hospital, decided do home birth instead, and, in the end, finished up delivering at Maine Medical Center. In my Blossoming Newborns class, there babies born at home, at Ballard House, at Maine Med, at Mercy...in tubs, squatting, in beds, by cesaerean birth... A wide variety of experiences, and we were brought together to help each other through the strange, tumultuous, scary, frustrating, joyous, wonderful and humbling experience of being a new mother.

Thank you, Birth Roots, for all you have done for my family and friends! Congratulations on your new space - it's beautiful, open, welcoming, functional, and perfectly YOU!

Post 101

Today was a perfect, wonderful day.


Preceded, of course, by a delightully long night of sleep, gifted to me by my precious daughter who went 7 (SEVEN!!) hours without needing us.

It's getting cold here, in Maine. Dan and I have been using a blanket and two comforters at night to stay warm - which has been, I admit, overkill to the point that we kick the top comforter off in a sweaty fit around 2 am. Still, it's cold enough that we THINK we need two comforters. Vi, like most babies, I'm told, kicks her blankets off. Dan's theory is that she's waking up cold. So, we purchased a "sleep sack" last night. Here is a picture of someone else's baby sleeping soundly in the sack.

You already know that Vi's first night in a sleep sack went very well.

This morning, Dan went to the kitchen to make cofee around 7:30, and took Vi with him. They snuggled and read books while the coffee brewed and I snoozed. We had warm beverages in bed together, snuggled, giggled, and loved the pets. When we were ready to get up (read: Vi started climbing down from the bed on her own), we all padded around in PJs and Dan made buckwheat pancakes.

**IS THAT NOT THE PERFECT START TO A DAY? Coffee/Bottle in bed, DaddyCakes in PJs. PERFECT.**

We then went about our typical morning routine of books and percussion instruments, intermingled with dog-kissing and shrieking. We ran a few errands, then headed up to Wolfe's Neck Farm for a pumpkin hay ride. We saw chickens, turkeys, sheep, and cows. We even saw what one woman described as a "bunny mixed with a bison," but in reality was just an extremely ugly and fuzzy rabbit. The hay ride was on a big wagon pulled by a tractor (I was hoping for horses), and we went by the cow's pastures and past a wonderful view of Casco Bay. Today was a crystal-clear, warm yet crisp, blue-sky Autumn day. We ate apples and picked pumpkins and ended up watching brand-new baby cow learning to walk by its mother.

We went to Brunswick to have lunch with my dad and help him move some heavy stuff around the house, then came home for work/naptime. Vi slept for a good two hours while Dan and I took care of housework/work-work. I made the best pizza ever, talked to my grandmother on the phone, then sent Vi off to bed happily.

Now, once I'm done posting these photos, Dan and I are going to watch Miami Vice. Ooh. Not a great date movie, but hopefully it will be fun in some way. Here are some photos from the last few weeks.

(Oh, you may notice that Vi now has bangs. I got tired of the losing battle with barrettes.)

http://picasaweb.google.com/linzwalsh/October2008#

Home again, home again! Jiggety-jig!

We made it home safely today. Having made the longer (against the headwinds) trip TO Nevada on Monday made the slightly shorter (with the headwinds, no delays, less of a layover) trip back HOME! to MAINE! even easier. Vi was, once again, Wonder Baby on the plane - hardly any fussing at all, lots of giggles, and plenty of compliments from the other passengers. Dan and I were remarking on how we feel so accomplished, successful-so CAPABLE, after making this trip. Like, we flew across the country with an infant without killing each other; therfore, we can do ANYTHING.

(Not that we will. We're pretty beat.)

We had the best Welcome Home ever. My mother picked us up at the airport, and my stepfather was at our house cooking us dinner. They helped us unload the car, change the baby, get settled; they fed us, did the dishes, then left. It was great. Coming home to a warm house, lit-up, with a fresh-cooked meal aroma floating through the house, and having two extra sets of hands to help us come home.

Plus, Riley was full of H&K (Hugs and Kisses) for both of us. When Vi saw him, she smiled so widely, and kicked her feet. THAT was cool. Apparently she knows Riley and enjoys his silliness and stinky kisses.

Right now, she is swaddled up (albeit in her smoky-smelling swaddle blanket), in her swing, sighing as she sleeps quite soundly.

We had a great time in Vegas. It was so nice to get away, especially to a warmer place, just as the weather here is turning frigid.

But it is always, always nice to come home to Maine. We live here by choice, and every time we go somewhere else, we reaffirm that choice. Maine is simply the BEST place to live, and we are so glad to be home.

What's new with Vi?

She found her thumb, started giggling, and is suddenly HUGE!

We weighed her, most recently, at my mom's candy kitchen. So she wouldn't fall off the fudge scale, we put her in a cookie box first. Of course, we didn't get a picture. Duh. We'll re-enact the incident with a camera handy, soon. Anyway, she weighed about 11 pounds!!! She is out-growing her clothes so fast. There are some adorable outfits we were given that she will never wear. There are also some not-adorable ones that she will never wear...!

I took her to an osteopath yesterday for a preventative-care type of evaluation. She had her first OMT (osteopathic manipulation treatment), and did very well. It's all gentle movement, almost like a massage, to see how she is aligned, connected, and all that. It's the same sort of treatment I get for my back and my migraines.

I have now been back to work for three full weeks, and it has, indeed, gotten easier to leave her on the days I work out of the home. The rest of the time, she is with me, going to clients' offices to do bookkeeping, going to doctors' appointments, grocery shopping, and so on. She doesn't usually like being in her car seat - we've tried everything, and every combination of everything. Sometimes she's happy as a clam - giggling, even. Other times, she screams bloody murder when her body touches the seat, I swear. I know where all of the safe places to pull over and nurse/burp/diaper/bounce a baby between Brunswick and Kennebunk. Here is a miracle picture - Vi actually smiling in her car seat:

We've been enjoying the Autumn weather. Sunday we had a picnic at Kettle Cove:

Vi loves bath time:

Some more current pictures:

I posted a slideshow on picasa, at: http://picasaweb.google.com/linzwalsh/VigoliaPix if you'd like to see more pictures.

Oh, and just because Maine is beautiful and everyone we love should live here, I will share some pictures Dan took last week while fishing: