Should have knocked on wood

On Monday Vi had a vaccination called PREVNAR. It's supposed to help prevent strep-pneumonia and ear infections. Apparently, one of the possible side effects is diarrhea. So many wonderful stories there...but don't worry, I won't bother you with such colorful tales.

We've discovered that Vi is extremely sensitive to vaccinations. Not necessarily to the shot, the needle, but to the actual junk that's injected into her tiny little body. (Which is, by the way, not so tiny anymore. She can hardly stand up beneath the dining room table, her thighs finally have a little pudge, and her belly is getting a bit round.) Knowing that I'm quite sensitive to all medicines (and life in general), that there are allergies and Aspergers and other risk factors on both sides of her family tree, we decided when she was born to consult with a homeopathic doctor in our area whose specialties are pediatrics and immunizations. She helped us create a customized immunization schedule based on Vi's family medical history.

She prescribed a homeopathic remedy which, I'm convinced, got Vi to stop crying in the car.

Vi had a horrible reaction to her first shot. She didn't really notice the needle, and was in good spirits for a few hours. Towards the end of the day, she completely melted down and was inconsolable. Completely inconsolable. Dan called the homeopathic doctor, she told him what remedy to try, and within twenty minutes Vi had fallen into a deep, contented slumber.

So, we like her. She GETS it. She GETS our parenting style. She GETS Vi. Her homeopathic remedies work for Vi. And, she is very, very cool.

The "should have knocked on wood" part is that since Monday's shot, Vi hasn't slept through the night. I had a sick, superstitious feeling when I created my last post that just by thinking it out loud, the spell would be broken, and we would be back to 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock, 4 o'clock wakings.

We are.

We made the mistake of breaking with some of our patterns that first night. And we broke the patterns every other night, too. So, we're back to square one, because I think she's pretty much un-learned everything she had figured out about how to sleep. The good news is that - according to this doctor - she'll probably be able to get back to where she was last week quickly. Maybe just a few nights.

And if not, she's got a remedy for that, too.

Knock on Wood

For almost eleven months now, I've been asked the question "Is she a good baby?" Which, by the way, seems like a very strange question to me. I mean, really. What could she do to be classified as a "bad" baby? Burn the house down? Cuss? I don't think I would want to have a baby who was completely uninterested in exploring the world around her. But that's just me.

I usually respond to the question by saying, yeah, she's a wonderful baby, she's a pretty happy baby, she eats well and is so funny. She's not good at sleeping more than three hours a stretch, but that doesn't seem to bother her a bit. We're exhausted wrecks, but she's happy.

The mildly superstitious side of me is concerned that announcing this week's turn of events will jinx her progress.

But, screw it. The fog is starting to clear, and I want to shout from the rooftop. Vi has slept until 4:00 am five nights this week! She's doing it! Finally! FINALLY!!!

Things we tried:
A crib in her room
White noise
Night light
Repetitive lullabies
Sleeping in her room, for quick, comforting shushing and bottom-taps
Co-sleeper (which, duh, isn't for the already-crawling baby)
Bed-sharing (which isn't for the hates-to-be-kicked parent. Fine and wonderful for the newborn and for parts of the night, but not for all-night with a 10-month old)
Waiting two minutes, then three minutes, then four minutes before going to comfort her (which totally did not work for any of us. When I got to thinking about it, what exactly is the lesson a baby is learning from that exercise? Our doctor recommended this method, but he's all about Ferber. Sleep issues is one issue on which he and I don't see eye to eye. I'm not interested in forcing her to learn to sleep on her own just so I can get some rest and feel less insane. She'll learn on her own time and with gentle, loving care that makes her feel safe enough to progress.)
Feeding more food during the day, eliminating feedings one by one overnight.
Nighttime routine - bath, massage, bed. This didn't work for us. We changed it to bath, family-time/book-time/snuggle-time, bed. We climb into bed with a pile of books, read, point, ooh and ahh, and then she climbs around, flops around, rolls around until she's asleep. With very little help from us.
A pack-n-play in our room

Things we didn't try:
Letting her cry it out.
Letting her cry herself to sleep.
Leaving her alone to cry until she fell asleep exhausted.
The Ferber method.
The Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby method.
The Baby Whisperer method.
Any method that involved her crying herself to sleep.
Pattern? Yup. I was told that 1) I had to be tough and let her cry herself to sleep or she'd NEVER learn and 2) I'll let my second baby cry his/herself to sleep (which, I really hope I don't).

The final winner is a combination of the things we tried. Night time routine of bath and family time. One theory I had was that she missed Dan, because he's working long summer hours, and was waking up wanting to see him. Extra time with him before bed seemed to help. Pack-n-play in our room is great for her and us - It's easy for us to hear her if she does need us, and she can hear us, which seems to be soothing to her. Feeding more during the day and not at night. I don't believe in stuffing a baby at bed time - everything I've read says that against conventional wisdom, this isn't effective.

That's it. We'll see if she's just turned a corner, or is trying something out for this week. I'll keep you posted. For now, we're catching up on several months of sleep deprivation, and looking forward to a much less cloudy outlook on life and less anxiety at night.

Weekend on the Cape

Dan, Vi and I travelled to Cape Cod for a family wedding this weekend. The wedding was sweet and short, and the reception was hoppin'. For the meat lovers, the filet mignon was apparently TO DIE FOR. We stayed in a cool condo in a little wooded area in Mashpee - Cape Cod Holiday Estates. I would highly recommend this place if you're travelling to that area! We had a two-bedroom unit. It had a master bedroom with a huge bathroom - jacuzzi, shower, high ceilings - and a second bedroom with two twin beds and a 3/4 bath. Full kitchen - FULL = table to seat 8, full-size fridge, oven, toaster, coffee pot, microwave, DISHWASHER. Living room with sofas, coffee table, desk with internet access. Sitting room with TV and a pull-out queen-size sofa bed. I don't know how this is possible, but it was only $120. Clean, nice, and, oh! I forgot - a deck with a grill.

My friend Bonnie came up from RI to watch Vi during the wedding. Had it not been for the other 250 guests, Dan and I would have had a real date. :-) After the event, Bonnie and I stayed up and watched Footloose! and whined about silly boys. Some Hagen Daaz would have completed the effect.


Other than that, same-old, same-old. We're both working hard. We have 3 more weddings this summer, and too many birthdays to count. Dan's prepping the boat for sale. That's right - not for S-A-I-L, but for S-A-L-E. (Know anyone who wants to buy a cool 16-foot outboard runaround?) We're selling it so that we can install a wood-burning stove, since oil prices will force us to choose between starvation and frostbite this winter.

Vi is growing fast. She really wants to be walking, but isn't quite there yet. She will do animal noises - when she wants to. Her piggy impression is quite good. She's trying hard for a good elephant sound, often succeeds at a very clear Woof or Quack, really enjoys trying a Cock-a-Doodle-Doo, and can definitely do the fishy noise. When I say, "What does the rabbit say?" She immediately turns her head to look at me twitching my nose and making a toothy face. Apparently the rabbit says - Don't worry, Momma will do it.

Here's a video of her latest specialty:

(Disclaimer: I was behind the camera, so many of you know what that implies about the quality of the film. For those of you who don't know...my apologies. Yes, I know it's sideways. yes, I know it's dark. Sorry, sorry.)

A few more pictures from this Spring.

Crazy hair
Playing with the fur pelt at Dan's parents' house:

Uncle Jasper, also playing with the fur pelt. Sorry ladies, he's not really that furry.

Vi playing with her Cheerios. Trouble ahead.

Trouble DIRECTLY ahead.

Long time, no write!

It's been a very long time since I had a spare moment, and chose to use it writing here. So much has happened!

Vi is crawling and cruising (for you laypeople - that means pulling herself up into standing, and sort of walking around while holding onto furniture). She is babbling, still. As you can see below, she is pointing. At everything. All the time. Sometimes, she points up with both hands, then cocks her head to the side and shrugs. Talk about cute!! When she's crawling away from me, I say, "Excuse me, Miss?" and she stops, turns, giggles, then continues along her way. As if to say, "Yeah? You talkin' to me? Talk to my taillights, 'cuz I'm outta here." She still emits a loud, crystal-shattering shriek whenever Mitten saunters into eyesight. (She also made this noise at an airline stewardess mid-flight. Almost made her spill my tomato juice.)

We drove to Westwood, MA for a bridal shower two weeks ago. Vi slept the entire way there and back, and was great at the party. She oohed and aahed as Haley opened her gifts. She flipped through her ABC board book. One of the games at the shower was for the bride to answer 'trivia' questions about the groom. One question was "what book is Jared currently reading?" The correct answer was, "He's not reading anything right now." Someone piped up and said, "That baby's reading more than your fiance'!" Okay...you had to be there. Funnier in the moment.

She really IS reading a lot...if you put a pile of toys and a pile of books in front of her, she will paw through the books first.

One thing she's not doing is sleeping well. Not napping for me during the day (she napped for a brand-new babysitter the other day, but for me? No.) and certainly not sleeping through the night. Not "sleeping like a baby" at all. Whoever came up with that phrase is an idiot. We've tried the go-to-sleep routine. We've tried the let-her-cry for just-a-minute routine. We've tried keeping her in bed. She just won't give us a real pattern to follow, or try to adapt! When one starts to emerge, so do four new teeth, so she's up in pain. Or she'll get a cold. Or a vaccination. I know how tired I am - I haven't had more than a dozen full nights of sleep in 18 months! She must be pretty tired, too. Not sure where she gets all of her giggling and crawling energy from.

She's eating a lot, too. Avocado, carrots, potatoes. Pears, apples, blueberries. Oatmeal, barley, rice. Bread, Pirate's Booty, Cheerios. She has days when she insists on self-feeding, and others when the spoon can't get from mouth to bowl to mouth fast enough. She has six teeth - four on top, two on the bottom. Her toothy grin keeps getting cuter. She was "kissing" Dan last night (this involves a lot of drool and a slimy baby tongue on your cheek) and decided to chomp down on his cheek. He has a big red mark from it! And yes, I'm still breastfeeding. No injuries to report.

Grammy (my mom) is back to feeling herself, and has been coming to watch Vi twice a week for the past couple of weeks. She'll continue doing one day a week, and may stick to two if she wants to. Vi crawls towards her, screeching and smiling, every time she arrives.

Other family news:

Dad had a 1.6 cm kidney stone lithotripsied-out two weeks ago. Suddenly his back doesn't hurt anymore. :-)

Steph is showing and glowing, as she should be! I forget how beautiful a pregnant woman can be!
They'll be moving back to NYC after the baby comes - JD first, for work, then Steph to follow.

Ben has started T-Ball, and Noelle is the coach. (Co-coaching with Mr. McHotty.)

Noelle broke/sprained her foot the other day.

I broke a toe the next day in sympathy.

Dan is super-busy with work again. It's that time of year - he works in retail, for a marine supplier. His weeks have gone from a standard 45 hours to about 60+ hours. He doesn't get paid overtime, and there are days when he leaves so early and gets home so late that he doesn't see Vi at all. I know it's a good job, but it seems like other people would do this "paying your dues" thing for a couple of years to get ahead...and we just keep paying and paying and paying, and getting further behind. And we miss him. It's hard being a single mom for a few hours each day - I can't imagine doing it full-time.

After a long search full of FRUIT LOOPS, LUNATICS, and FLAKES...we finally found a mother's helper/babysitter to come watch Vi on my work-at-home days. She's got a great attitude, is super-helpful, has great instincts with Vi, and Vi loves her. Feet-kicking, screeching and pointing when she arrives. :-)
Work has finally levelled off for me...funny how childcare has helped me get caught up, eh?

Spring is finally here - the lilacs are in bloom, my tulips are all up (well, the ones that remain after the squirrel pillaging), the sun is shining..! Springtime in Maine is the best. We got our inaugural ice cream cone a couple of weeks ago. It's so nice to get out, too. Even a quick stroll around the block, or just sitting on a blanket in the grass, is such a much-needed change of pace. Summer will be here soon, and it's a busy one. We have four weddings (well, 3 weddings and one Civil Union) to attend, seven family birthdays, one anniversary, several friends' and babies' birthdays, lots of fish to catch, squash to grill, weeds to pull, and grass-stains to get. I'm dying to get Vi into a pool somewhere, too. She has a couple of swim suits already...yes, I'll post some pictures. :-)

She's still asleep, so I should really be getting some work done, some laundry folded, some dishes washed...something.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. Looking forward to seeing some of you as you come to Maine this summer!!!