Oink.

Why haven't I posted since November 30th? Let me count the reasons...

1) On December 2nd, my dad had total knee replacement surgery. He thought he would walk out of the hospital the next day, but...apparently? TKR is pretty serious? A major procedure, even? Resulting in lots of pain, muscle aches, and requiring a serious regimen of recovery? Yup. My recommendation to all who are considering joint replacement: GO TO THE CLASSES THE DOCTOR RECOMMENDS. It will take away the element of surprise. My dad didn't go, because he was worried the information would make him nervous. Well, for two full weeks my siblings and I tag-teamed to take care of him, because he couldn't get around on his own, even to go to the bathroom. We bullied him into doing the exercises, we comforted him when he was frustrated, we cooked, cleaned, and managed his long list of medications. And now, he's off the meds, driving himself around, going to work, and seems to be doing fine. I think he has more outpatient physical therapy to keep him on the path, but all in all, the tough part is over.

2) As soon as my final turn at Dad's was over, I promptly became sick. After three days of a fever ranging between 101 and 102, I went to my doctor's. I fully expected to be told "Go home. Rest. Drink Gatorade. Take Tylenol." But that would be too un-dramatic, un-exciting, un-Lindsay. My doctor said, "Your heart is beating around 200 beats per minute. I have no idea what's going on, but I'm worried you have an infection in the tissue surrounding your heart. I'm calling an ambulence."

Huh. NOT the same as going home and watching Oprah with a pitcher of water at my side.

So, I got my first ride in an ambulence. Did you know the patient rides backwards in those things? Not the best for someone with a tendency towards motion sickness, let me tell you. The EMTs hooked me up to some oxygen, a heart monitor, and an IV. (My doctor, who has known me since I was 6, said to the EMT, "You know how to put in an IV, right?") I was taken to Maine Medical Center. By the time I reached there -about 20 minutes later - I had taken most of a liter of fluid, and my heart rate was back down to about 115. They wheeled me into a room, and then closed the door. Then the closed the OTHER door. I wondered - "Huh. Two doors. That's strange." And THEN, the phone rang, and my intake interview (you know, name, age, social security, religious preference, emergency contact, etc) was taken remotely. That's when I started repeating, "This is surreal. I am in a QUARANTINED ROOM in the HOSPITAL." That's also when I realized that I had the swine flu.

Yup, H1N1 here. That explained why my entire body had been aching and I couldn't stay hydrated. This thing really had knocked me down over the past few days! My parents, husband and 2 of my brothers wore masks and entertained me in their usual fashion. The nursing staff was cracking up at Tim and Mark standing outside my room, pretending to go up & down in elevators, etc, just to make me smile. I'm so thankful for my family.

Let's see, what else would make this story exciting? Dan had picked Vi up from daycare early that day, because SHE had a fever. He took her to the doctor, and they confirmed that she did not have an ear infection, just something viral. "Go home, rest, lots of fluids, take tylenol," is what they told him. When we got my diagnosis, I had Dan call the pediatrician repeatedly to see if this news changed their recommendation at all.

Oh, the poor goose. She had a fever and wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink, and was refusing Tylenol. We tried fun cups, different beverages, even Capri Sun. She just had no interest in drinking. The last thing I wanted was to see my little girl with an IV in her. I shiver just imagining it. I had to wake up enough to give her a serious talking-to. "Listen, Vi," I said. "You know about germs, right? Well, you have a germ. We want to make the germ go away. The only way to make the germ go away is to drink lots of water and juice. We can feed you like a baby bird if you want - drip the drink in you mouth. How does that sound?" She replied weakly, "tweet, tweet! Go away, Germ!" She let us feed her lots of coconut water mixed with juice like that over the next few days.

She and I doubled up on our probiotics and Vitamin D3, drank lots of water and juices with electrolytes, and took Elderberry syrup in the higher acute-case dosage.

Who need vaccinations that may or may not cause future neurological issues? Not us - we made our own antibodies.

But it really wasn't fun doing it. I don't want to do that again, thank you very much.

Now here I am, December 23rd, back to work to get caught up. I am so thankful that my team at my firm is so strong - I hardly have any catch-up to do. The plates kept spinning. Heck, we got 3 new clients because of my connections while I was out sick! Maybe I'll take more time off...

Family has started arriving today - Noelle & the NJ contingent arrived at noon. Hopefully Tim and Amy will get here tomorrow. JD, Steph and Addie will arrive on Christmas morning. I think we've got Vi's stocking all set, and we're working on our Secret Santa gifts. This is cool - instead of buying presents, we drew names and submitted a "help me with" wish list. Mine included help developing a strength-training regimen, Tim's asked for ideas on places to hike, Noelle wants resources to help improve her (already fantastic) photography skills, and so on. This should be an interesting Christmas!

I asked Vi yesterday what Christmas is all about. She said, "Christmaaaaaaasss....yeah. Yeah. Christmas is....Christmas is eating cookies."

So there you have it. Knee Replacement, Swine Flu, and Cookies. A typical December.